Still Fantasy

Sunday, July 30, 2006

finally my neoprint deprived gurl had her fix

happyhappy day =)

p.s i dun wanna go back to reality tmr. and damn do fotos are blur

** sometimes when i wonder if there was a huge weighing scale to weigh out
on the right side the times when i brought smiles and warmth to pple's faces
and on the left the times when i brought tears and coldness.
i hope the right would be heavier

but fuck, if it isnt

god forgive me. for i am sorry.

playin ball with jay at
7:35 AM

Saturday, July 29, 2006

how i wish i was back in something more stable.. the feelin of rockin and twisting with no fear. its so old and worn-lookin compared to the raptor, but who cares. it held me. so screw dat raptor. its so sleek u can cap any second if u lose focus. and god.. i HATE it when i do.

i will relish the day when my raptor flies over water. i will get my 1:50.

when u try lookin back at da past ** years of ur life.. do u feel red? do u feel blue? or juz plain grey? well.. i would think of

my colourful life wearin dat blue beret certainly brings sweet blue memories.
anderson rox its yellow socks.
2/6 and 4/5 gang will forever be the craziest bunch of fuckin stupid orange gays i eva saw^^
the weeks that my father goes on his business trips will be greyish.
the days that i ended up sick muz be greenny
failure + sad days = black
workin at the chocolate factory makin brown chocolates, so my darlin can hav an extra special browny christmasss
all the red hongbaos that are certainly diminishin in size
and finally my baby boo makes me completely rainbow

certainly got so much others.. but as usual too lazy to type. lols dunno why i dun blog about my everyday events leh. mayb too garbled up. i'll try next time tho. haha

so much for the determination to mug. tata

playin ball with jay at
5:36 AM

Sunday, July 23, 2006

i've been neglecting so many things that are relli close to my heart. what a loser. cant handle ur own life. cant plan ur time properly. cant focus on the water. cant focus on studies. cant even find time with ur special gurl. what a fuckin loser. pls for god's sake. the championships are over. Get back ur focus. Make things work again.

i hate not being able to find time for u. it relli sucks. and now my grades are so f-ing screwed up. 2 U 2 E 1 B. issit? i oso not so sure. ArGh its like a hammer slammin on ur brain every second. stRess. wish i was still in anderson. lols. cant believe i was so hack care then. life was good. but i guess i juz gotta grow up. nid to let my gurl noe she aint wif a loser.

btw i noe things arent relli smooth btw us rite now. its juz stress bah. all the nerves. u r still and will always be the princess in my fairytale. ai shiteru.

playin ball with jay at
3:21 AM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

my mother juz nagged my ass off beacuse i dint " do this do that". get off my back pls. im sick. im stressed, im a boy who needs a 10 year break from life.

i love writing suicide notes juz to piss her off.

playin ball with jay at
6:20 AM

realized somethin was wrong with my blog.. silly me. oh well i managed to revive it but lost all my previous posts. numbedd.

since the june hols started, everythin juz seemed to overflow. relli feels that im getting cramped up. with the hectic tranings, studies, etc. u noe how it feels when everythin is juz poised to break? juz crack like a silly eggshell. so MUCH GODAMN FUCKIN STUFF TO FUCKIN DO IN SUCH A FUCKIN LITTLE TIME. and you, i hurt u too.

i dint have time for you
i missed our important dates
i forgotten to write letters
i broke little promises
i made you tear
i regret leavin NY

sometimes when i hear sniffin noises when i tell u i cant meet you. or dat my weekends are booked. it juz breaks me. noeing dat at the other end of the line are ur droplets of tears. ='(

Once upon a time, a boy fell in love with a gurl.
she was all he wanted.
But he was afraid that she doesnt like him.
He silently waited for her.
And, the boy confessed to her.
He found his princess,
She found her knight.
He tinted her life with many colours.
Beautiful shades of happiness.
He was her source of energy, the one that kept her going.
He was always there to wipe her tears.
The one she leaned on when she was tired.
The shoulder that would always there for her.
He taught her how beautiful she was.
How lovely life was with her around.
They walked every street together. See the stars and moon, feel the presence of one another.
Time really flew.
All their memories captured within their hearts.
Life was simple, but magical.

But Love wasnt as easy as it seems, it's full of obstacles.
One day, he chose to go someplace else, he became further, seemed to drift away
It devastated him, he regretted in the end, but..

She learned to walk her every step without her knight. She tried to be independent. She went through all the ups and downs in her life. But she kept on falling, she stood up and walked. Just to fall again.

He felt pain in his heart every time he saw his baby cry out for him, cry out for the times he wasnt there and cudnt make it in time to be with her every second of her life. He was lost depressed and juz in tears..

After all they went through, it's still each other that appears in their mind. , hoping that life was like when they just met. How a little sandwich brightens one another's day. How a whisper of three words sweentened their nights. How he guide her way when she closed her eyes and held onto him. How he held her hands and glided thru the magical ice. How she managed to bring joy into his heart juz by walking home, thru the stalls near school. the walks home that he would die for now. the waits early in the innocent morning. 620

its hard but they love each other.

and thats what counts.

oops i kop from teh tariiik =))) but of cos i edited..

anyways. nat canoeing is over. when i saw our seniors, every inch of them prepared to die for the team. i felt relli touched. they hav gone thru in two years what little pple hav gone thru in thier entire lifetimes. the sufferings, the buckets of sweat and the rivers of blood. (lols i getting so drama)

im so happy that they succeeded. seeing them, in elation. understandin each other tots.. that hand on the back. the knowing smile.

its relli not about the title, the medals, or that we hav to prove ourselves. in the end the team that has gone thru so much bullshit with you. who has suffered and committed no less than you. who has pushed the very limits of thier body.they are more than your team. they are family.

in the end, when you meet that lactic acid barrier, ur muscles screamin in pain, your mind almost faintin with agony.
when it arrives at that crunch time.

it all comes down to rowin for who u love.

techniques and kickin and twisting and pullin i can forget
but the vales, the friendship, the bonds and the knowledge of knowing theres no limits i will not.

i shall be a master of my boat.
i shall mugggg my ass off.
i shall tell my kiss my baby goodnite every night.

playin ball with jay at
5:44 AM